The Hell We’ve Been Through
High School Experiences
Jeanine Ruhsam, founder of TransCentral PA, describes what it was like growing up as a boy in high school: “I was accused of being, you know, queer. And suspected of being what we would call a ‘gay boy’ now. You know, the funny thing was, I didn’t have those sorts of feelings. I was very attracted to girls, but in a very funny way, because it was like I wanted to be a girl as much as I wanted to be with girls.” Jeanine suffered constant harassment and physical attacks in school. “You know I started hitch hiking (to get to school), because even though I sat behind the bus driver, I’d still get attacked from behind.” Jeanine went on to transgender advocacy and education later in life, including helping to change the law involving indication of gender identity on PA driver licenses. – Jeanine Ruhsam oral history
Joanne Carroll, former president of TransCentral PA, also had a difficult childhood growing up as a boy named John. As John, he was the victim of bullying in school “…the girls didn’t pick on me because I made friends with them, but most of the boys did, in fact the kid across the street used to beat me up every day after school, every day. I think he was studying for the Olympics, because he needed a punching bag and his parents couldn’t afford one. I accepted Christ when I was ten, baptized at twelve, and Daddy molested me at thirteen. That didn’t make me think anything differently about myself, but it made me mad at God. Because having been brought up in a very religious experience, and always being told that God loves you and all the sudden the person who leads you to faith, and then God saying He is the God of Love - that didn’t work out for me. And so, basically I yelled at God for fifty years. I’ve looked at suicide four times. That’s the level of desperation I think that comes in.” Joanne continued to struggle until she finally was able to live her true gender identity later in life. In addition to becoming president of TransCentral PA, Joanne has become one of the most involved and visible transgender activists in the state with membership on numerous boards including the Governor's Commission on LGBTQ Affairs. – Joanne Carroll oral history |