Coming Out:
Cindy's Story
Cindy Lou Mitzel was born in 1942 to a large family of five brothers and five sisters. She knew that she was a lesbian at the age of 13 as she was always in love with her best friends, however, she did not know that she could live this life, so after high school she got married and would eventually have three children. She and her husband were in love, however, Cindy found that it was almost more important that her girlfriends were around her. She remained with her husband for a few years until they eventually separated. She still lived with her ex-husband after their separation, but she wanted to find someone to talk about her sexuality with.
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Soon she found a service where people could call in and talk, but when she found out a member of her tennis team volunteered there, she stopped calling due to the fear of being outed. She had a crush on a friend from high school and wanted to confess her feelings to this woman. Though when the moment came, her friend said “Well, I just know if anybody came onto me, I’d knock ‘em to the ground”, which immediately shut this situation down.
Cindy did not come out until her early 1940s when it was more acceptable to talk about it. She was met with mixed responses from her family as some of her sisters told her not to talk about it, which hurt her. She accidently came out to one of her other sisters and this time was met with love and support. She came out to her kids as well and they were great about it. Her daughter had a friend that was lesbian, so Cindy saw her as almost another one of her children. |
Cindy discusses speaking during York College’s sexuality class and
her family’s reaction to her sexuality. |
After coming out, Cindy began to speak at York College sexuality class and would ask the students if they knew anyone that was gay. As the years passed, more and more people would raise their hand, and eventually she stopped asking as it became more normalized. She had seen an ad for PFLAG, and they directed her to the Metropolitan Community Church in Baltimore. She had a wonderful experience at this affirming church and also got information of groups in York and Harrisburg she could attend.
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She decided to go meet with the Discovery group, however, when she went, they were not meeting so she ended up going to a gay café and later that night went to a gay bar. She went early and waited for someone else to go in first. When inside she was surprised that she was shocked at two men dancing together. After this experience she started going to the bar more and eventually met a woman who she started her first lesbian relationship with, however, they were long distance which led to the relationship ending.
Cindy got involved with handing out a lesbian newsletter known as the Lavender Letter that contained information on events and women’s health, it also provided her with a connection to the lesbian community. |
Cindy discusses her first experience at a gay bar
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At this time there was still fear of what could happen to you if you were LGBTQ+ and the wrong people found out. She went to Campfest which was a women’s retreat, an event at which last names were not used, and you had to ask people before taking photographs. Campfest was a great experience for her as there was various classes and meetings on different subjects, but most importantly, no men. It was a place where people could be unapologetically themselves. After this retreat, she saw a straight couple and was shocked then remembered that that was the norm.
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Cindy discusses her experience at a lesbian retreat known as Campfest.
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In 1993, Cindy helped to establish York Area Lambda in order to get protective ordinances passed in York for sexual orientation. They wrote to Mayor William Althaus to try and get his help, which initially he did not do. However, he eventually had a change of heart and supported this ordinance, to which gender identity was added a few years later. This started a fight between people that were pro- and anti-LGBTQ+. Cindy and her partner did an interview and were photographed after this event which led to an increased fear for their safety. Their friends got them an alarm for protection, and they received a few hate calls. Cindy says that had it not been for the straight allies they had, that this ordinance may have not been passed nearly as fast.
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Cindy has worked on the Human Relations Commission combating discrimination against LGBTQ+ members and during her campaign for the National Organization for Women Pennsylvania Chapter she discussed her platform that was heavily linked to LGBTQ+ issues. Many people thanked her for discussing this, which was a shock to her as she though that these issues were already out in the air. She also helped to organize the Central Pennsylvania Womyn’s Chorus after seeing the Harrisburg Gay Men’s Chorus perform. She is grateful to have seen marriage equality during her lifetime as this was not something she expected to happen for awhile. She describes herself as retired from the fight but is looking forward to what comes next for the LGBTQ+ community.
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Cindy discusses the origins of Lambda, which was established in 1993.
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